Caring for Your Child's Well-Being During Hospitalization

Author: Samantha Loomis

Parents: we know that the last place you want to be is at a hospital, especially when it’s for your child. For you to support your child’s mental state, it is crucial for you to recognize that you also need to be in a stable mental place. Considering that your child looks up to you, seeing you falter will only make your child more uneasy. We know this is easier said than done, so don’t worry. It is normal to feel heightened emotions during such an uncomfortable time. Sadness, frustration, guilt, shock--they are all okay. Whatever you are feeling, it is understandable. As you are your child's support system, it’s just as important for you to have one too. Seeking comfort from a loved one or finding a support group are two great sources. It can be extremely healing to express your feelings to people. You can even correspond with a nurse or doctor to gain insight into other opportunities. Everyone at the hospital wants the best for both you and your child! As for how to mentally and physically support your child, here is a list:

1. Not leaving them alone.

Your support and comfort can make all the difference to them. They need reassurement. Hugs, supportive talks, and praise are simple gestures that hold great meaning. Letting them know when you have to leave the room or hospital so they aren’t left wondering, but also informing them that you will be back. When they go through a procedure that you can’t be there for, they may deal with separation anxiety. Thus, it’s important to tell them that you will see them right after and aren’t going anywhere. When your child is going through medical procedures (even as simple as shot), it is important they recognize you are with them. Additionally, arranging visits from loved ones and/or ones that your child is familiar with when you aren’t able to be around can help lighten their mood. If possible, staying overnight can also decrease the amount of stress. Here are some bonding activities you can participate in with you child during their stay at the hospital:

1. Start watching a new TV show/movie

2. Eat a meal together a day with them

3. If possible, get exercise together (short walks around the hospital, playing with toys, etc.).

2. Talking with your child about their illness.

When discussing your child’s medical situation to them, it is important to use simple words that they can process and understand. By allowing your child to respond comfortably about their feelings, concerns, and wishes about the situation, you can contribute to their feelings of security and comfort. Sometimes, all they need to know is that someone is always going to be there for them no matter what and love them unconditionally. If your child says something hurtful to you, try not to take it to heart. Being in the hospital can make your child lose sense of control of their daily life. This can cause bursts of emotions that can spark them to say things that they may not mean. To accommodate for this loss of control, you can try to give them the ability to make choices as often as possible, including what pajamas to wear to sleep or what type of bandage to wear. Moreover, it may take awhile for your child to become adjusted to this new change in their life, so patience is crucial. The calmer you are, the calmer your child is. It is normal for you to not know everything about your child's illness. Children have so many questions, and if you don’t know the answer to some of them, honesty is the best policy. A simple “I don’t know, but I will find out for us” is a great start! Consulting your child's doctor about your questions and wonders will get you the answers you are searching for. Expressing your concerns does not come off as annoying; it is normal for every concerned and caring parent.

3. Helping your child get comfortable in the hospital.

When your child is at home, they know what is in each of their drawers, rooms, cupboards, and closets. At the hospital, both you and your child may lose this sense of comfort. You may not know the workers or the patients next door, but that’s why it’s important to get you and your child comfortable with your new surroundings. A couple ways in which you and your child can gain exposure to the hospital environment include building relationships with doctors/nurses and going to the cafeteria or on walks throughout the halls if possible. The hospital can be an intimidating and confusing place, so it’s best for your child to have positive perceptions of its staff members. By explaining to your child that all their doctors/nurses want to help them get better rather than hurt them, you can diminish any feelings of apprehension that they may have. Furthermore, if your child has a special toy (such as a stuffed animal), bringing it to the hospital may help them feel more comfortable by providing them with a sense of familiarity.

There are certain things you can do outside of the hospital to help your child. If your child is currently enrolled in school, asking their teacher about missing assignments and tests they need to make up, and setting up a way to reach these goals, will help your child later on. Call the school offices to excuse their absences and state a reason for their potential extended absence (school teachers are available if your child's stay at the hospital exceeds ten days). If your child is old enough to want to communicate with their friends, provide them with a way to text or plan a visitation day to brighten up their day. Planning fun activities every once in a while is great as your child will have something to look forward to. The days can be long, so rewards can help both you and your child get through the rough days. After a procedure, consider gifting them a stuffed animal, a new toy, or something they're interested in.

Depending on your child's illness, they should be able to sleep in their own clothes. Bringing pajamas or lounge clothes can make a significant difference in their days while hospitalized. Instead of feeling like an uncomfortable visitor in other clothes, it can feel like a comfortable night at home. To make their room feel more like home, bring a family picture, or perhaps a picture of a family pet, as a great reminder that someone is always with them, even when you can't be there.

While in the hospital, you will have a lot of downtime. Be prepared and pack card games or activities to do. When doctors use words and phrases you don't understand, write down a list of questions you have for them to ensure you're well-informed. That way, the next time they ask, "Do you have any questions?" you'll be ready and prepared. Returning to downtime: another simple way to pass the time is self-care! You deserve to pamper yourself and/or your child. Picking up a hobby can also help time pass by, such as crocheting, knitting, making bracelets, meditation, yoga, and more. Reading is an easily accessible hobby with countless genres. Journaling is another great source of coping or creating a habit/routine, where you can jot down a few positives about the day and accept your feelings by writing out the negatives. Each day is different, offering a fresh start.